Somebody That I Used To Know

31 August 2011

Been busy for last few month for exam preparation, revision class, work, etc. After exam just work, work, work, then new semester start, means activites recycle again, class and work and add-ons with household work. No complaint because i do it voluntarily. I like it so much as im over busy but not once that i find myself being busy. Maybe i've been got used to it for the past 2 years, almost 3 years, time flies. At least i don't have extra time for daydreaming or being such a loser spending my whole day emo there. I spend 3times lesser than how i used to online last time. Love to spend so much time chat with the "particular" person, imaging that person having the same feel as i felt to him. But nah, i don't think he kinda connected to me as how he talked to me. Maybe i am the one think too much, maybe it was the last relationship how it affected me that no such truth love will ever exist, if anyone talk to me about truth love, i will take it as he is talking crap or watever hell la. I will not judge his/her point of view neither comment nor respond. Also, i felt that my friend having feel for the same guy as i did, it was so obvious how she ask me about him. Its okay, i not readey for any relationship. I am more appeal to same sex rather than the opposite sex. And one more thing was about after i got my DNA result, i am official mutation inheritance, kinda serious disease. Only prevention can be done. Don't think any of my future soulmate able to accept the truth about me. I am such a huge burden. And i am a happy person after chat with him , i felt all my depress emotion released. But i think i better dun bother him much, i better find a new method explore my emotion to my bolster or looking at the mirror

Anyway, I currently in a drunk mood. Just have few glass of wine at home. and turn myself 90 degree, up side down to make myself drunk as i dun get drunk easily. okay la post end here. 

THE END, night.
AND happy 54th independant day in Malaysia.

Life

It was so frustrating knowing that people give up life so easily, I myself, was one of them in the past as i've been attempted suicide thrice. It was not that life was not treating me well, as i came from a lower-class background family. I never blame for the caused, as long as i have a home to stay, food supplier, living healthy and safe although in the previous home environment was bad due to the over developing the areas as the year goes by. And people changed during the year or new comer from other places shifted in when some others moved out, as their desire unfulfilled which turning their jealousy into madness. Venting their anger over the others person by scratching their new bought vehicle, polluting the environment where it used to be beautiful for the first time we moved in but sadly things fade away as we hardly hear crickets and grasshoppers making noise at night, the refreshing night and less heat during the days. The neighbors not being incorporate of taking care the environment their lived, over extending their house illegally somehow offended people when they restrict people crossing over their unowned tittle of the land. It was very true about the nature of the mankind in the mandarin term  of  " 人不为己, 天诛地灭 ". And some people, most of them i can said are frighten getting involve themselves in the trouble when they held their hand for the people calling for help in the public. While doubting the help can be fake by the offenders during the economic recession occur globally which increase the rate of crime. I guess it was not completely wrong for people not giving a help as they trying to prevent and protecting themselves dragging into the troubles. But think of yourselves in the danger situation and yelling for help, watching people bypass you without giving a help. How would you feel? For me just do what is right, and if you find it suspicious, juz walk away or calling the right person to help them. When years by years goes by, the population increase every single year, many people fighting for the same bowl of rice u are aiming at, what makes you special is to achieve the best of the best amongst rest of them. And the unlucky ones graduated with highly qualified education without getting any offer of their desire job. End up affecting their psychology unbalanced, turning the evil idea on to get what they have yet to achieve to fulfill their wants. Cheating people with all kinds of technique to earn them a thousands of money in a short period of time, but somehow its hard to put a blame on people as you're not being alert and cheated with a less knowledge about the true color of a real world. There's so many kind of cheating others than money such as cheating in love, betraying friendship. And this makes life miserable and confused who to be trust and who are not to be. Some cheating occurred were 你情我愿. A better solution to overcome the problem is to read more about the news either get some suggestion from someone that are experience when u doubt about it. Never be afraid of asking your families while you knew you will end up getting negative feedback but it does help you to think better. Lastly be smart and alert when u're out all alone by yourself. 
The force driven me to the mind of commit suicide was the people around me looking down and giving a look that you will always be a failure. Take it positive as a momentum to work harder to shows them what they said bad about you was totally opposite, and be grateful and forgives. If life hit you badly with all kind of sickness or accidents, overcome it and be strong. Nothing comes easily without paying a price. 所谓大难不死必有后福
Last but not least, fully utilized you time. Spend more time on reading to gain more knowledge, do some good to the earth, if you have no idea how to do. Begin with recycling, bring paper bag out along with you if you plan to buy some stuff like groceries. Don't throw the plastics bag away if you find it useless, you should fold it and sell it to the "old newspaper lorry collector". I been told that they collect almost everything. And please have a good use over your clothes, nowadays people only wore once or twice of their new bought clothes and then donate to the orphan house or resell. I know its a fashion century, but some kept buying clothes unnecessary include myself once in a while. =( And use water and electric wise, avoid switching air-cond la. The younger generation are too pamper with air-cond, do you know switching on air-cond are one of the factor causing the earth temperature increase? Thats why the temperature get hotter and hotter, and you switch on air-cond due to the heat, and the temperature rised higher and hotter. And i will be going like on and on over the same thing. And one fine day, the air-cond no longer protect you from not feeling hot. And in the future, your grandson or your grand-grandson or grand-grand-grandson die of suffocate the unbearable heat either cancer from the penetration of UV rays. And the earth go ka-za boom, i guess that is when the star-war begin. LOL use fan are not bad what.

Enjoy the song above, goodnight

Mothers day

Mother's day was on yesterday, i spent some quality time with mom as thing goes according to my plan from few weeks ago but some technical problem like little tiny annoying problem happened while we were having movie. My sis finished work much more earlier than usual and she didn't bring house key along while everyone was out. so conclusion was nobody gonna be there open door for her when she reach home. The most annoying problem was she call my mom at the time we were enjoying the movie, i was pretty mad that moment. She knew we were having movie as the movie were bought by her few days before the date of movie, the thing is during the time there were people staying at home, there was no problem, no call, nothing happened, as peaceful and quiet as galaxy but once we out, there's always a call received from her. WHY!!!! 

Mom cant speak to her in phone so she went out wanna give a call back to her about the placement of another key. But i saw my mom went a reverse direction and i was so worried whether she will come back for the movie while the ticket was with me. That moment really spoiled my movie mood, so ridiculous WTF. X(
But lucky my mom came back when the time i was ready to go out search for her. After that incident, was really hard to concentrate the movie as we were worrying my sis able to get into the house not, because after movie we plan to have dinner at fahrenheit shopping mall. And she never pick up the call after the movie, and my mom suggest us to go back. I was so refused, i've already make a reservation for dinner and payment already make. But everything went fine, she pick up the call and we went for dinner. lol Am consider very patient or else my student will get screw up by me most of the time. Nah.. I wont never do that to my student if they couldn't understand as i need to repeat for thousand time. But i think got 1 time i really explore like a boom when anemia hit me while in a time packed with student, i think i mentioned it from previous post. I wasn't feeling well at all, with heavy headed feeling. And there was a student like standard 6 kept asking question when the question is pretty easy as you just need to read. And he was being lazy to understand the content, every each of the Q and the similar question i have to guide him through, i knew him very well. Its not the 1st time he reacting like tht. Sometimes i tell my self i wanna die, strangle me, hang me on the ceiling, vomit out all my blood and die. ahem... out of topic


So we watch "the lost bladesman" aka 關雲長, some respond that this movie wasn't nice as too much fighting causing their head spinning but for me was "thumb ups" maybe i find it very interesting. Last time my 1st choice of movie was western movie other than that, all out of my list. Maybe i find it not worth or not interested. But after i watch 劍雨 last year, its was like a boom, the storyline was remarkable. Seriously, if you haven't watch it, you SHOULD. i sort of liking the movie story about ancient period. interesting... hmm...

ready to go out

After some thoughts and motivation, i wanna put my full concentration in my work and study, do more research and thinking skill for what i teach. More effort in study, spend more time in study and revised those past paper i did not cover completely. Spend more time with my pet, known as pikachu. Pity her as she is getting old and sickness took place over her. I think she hit with tumours disease, bladder stones, cysts, abscesses. :(

blah... this is how i end up by doing

as many level file as possible

Coming up next with Pikachu

 she always enjoy sleeping on my hand

Oh ya, she love getting massage too

End my post with a video, enjoy~

Goodnight  continue my worksheet, so i should say goodmorning instead. ;p

Last but not least, Happy MOTHERS day!!

April 27th 2011 abnormal health

So many thing gone through last last week and last week, 1st was busy with work and late for class, 2nd was mom admit to hospital for surgery, and lastly was attended fair well dinner held on last sat.
  But  everything's fine, glad. mom admit to hosp on Thurs, surgery on the next day. Was planning to visit her after my class, but sadly due to last Fri was a good friday. I'm been told to work on tht day which my boss have to leave early for church. And tht was fine for me, i still can visit her on the next day at afternoon after my work. And guess wat, they planned to held tht fair well dinner for my 2 colleagues at the night on sat, i was like in the middle one, hardly pick which of it. I consider quite closed to 1 of my colleague and of course i don't wanna miss it and the visit as well. Miserably, i only have one soul and one human body, if my soul discharge from my body means im dead and i don't wanna be dead yet, there's still many thing for me to learn and people to take care. so b4 coming to sat, i made my decision that i will pay a visit to my mom instead going for dinner. But hell yeah, they change their decision and the dinner will make it at next day, Sunday. Mom checked out from hosp on sat with my dad and come fetch me by the time i finish my work. So i guess the food i bought for mom can eat at home. lol But its a good thing my mom came back early, its mean she recovered fast but she seems like in deep pain written on her face when i saw her. But everything seems fine after that. finger crossed~


Anyway, today still got 1 and a half hr before i finish work. Something bad happened on me, same thing happened during the beginning year of 2010 or 2009 for few time. I hardly recalled when its the last time it happens since its been awhile ago. I've never told anyone about this incident at all during 2009/2010 untiltoday i went back after work. I was really in pain and nearly fainted and i told my mom how it occurred and i was told having expansion of blood. " 膨血"   
I was truly suffocate and terribly torture by it, because still got 1hr be4 the work end, i thought i might as well hold on and bear the pain and continue do the teaching. Out of nowhere, this illness came very sudden. At 1st, you will be like 1 side of eye sight will turn abnormally. If ur healthy and when u look at one object there will be only one and the same figure appear by observing with both eye either either one side of eye. But i saw the one object with 2 same figure appearing with my both eye and its like the object i saw floating in the air. somehow like illusion, but its was not illusion, its was like small part of 1 of your eye just went blur, and very difficult for me to read Q for student. Normally i can read the Q when the book is upside down facing me, its to suit the student but today i read wrongly most of the time. But luckily, my student corrected me. Then after half and hour after the illness struck me, my head felt heavy head ache and i felt terribly cold than usual. That moment, i felt its like coming to end of my life. I was wanted to tell my boss tht i dun felt well at all. But another boss approach to my student and stand just right beside me. And that's the moment turn me off. Then i just bear for another half and hr, and quickly went back after that. 

Its was so hard to find him to chat with me this recently since he only on9 during the morning & sometimes non at all. I can feel theres no connection from him, but atleast try to talk with me. I jsut need somebody to talk with, mostly i only speak out when i was working. If i were at home i will beeome autism. I hardly speak to my mom its was becoz if i speak too much. we will end up quarreling and debating with each other. I should go to sleep, since my hair almost dry. Goodnight

i look so dead. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Am i ready for dead? still got bit doubt about it.

我的第一次

这是我第一次在部落格里写中文。 有点奇怪，噢～ 可能不习惯吧。 那是因为我好久没写过中文自从我在中学初中二决定停止上华语课。 可能是因为我对华文不感兴趣。 其实当前的我写着这文章是多么的困难， 大多数都是用谷歌把英文翻译去华语然后再复制和粘贴过来。 哈哈！ 我还是比较喜欢粤语，我有小小失魂魄，“yi ga ngo dou ng zi ji geh han dou gon gen mug yeh" zzzz

Have to sleep early, later on 10 in the morning got class. But i still got 2 level file to rush and adjustment but got problem with it. Sigh, what to do??? Hmmm... dun sleep, good idea!! Thinking of going to pc fair after class to get a hard disk. any recommend?? And i still have to work and class on sat. And my erp ordering work to do, hope my looks wouldn't turn out like zombie. I think i will survive through. lol
goodnight

我突然很想拥有幸福的感觉

ps: 明日就是李嘉微的生日， 我在这祝她生日快乐!! a tremendous 21st birthday ever

Motivate

Its hard to believe I doing my work at this hour since i was just back from work @ 9pm. Due date on next monday since my boss passed it to me earlier, i just felt so motivated to finish it earlier. Actually i just finish it a minutes ago, still got bit adjustment to do, think i'll just inform her on thurs when i work. Sadly, still got another half haven't pass to me. This week so rushing to complete my level file, have to cover those lot higher level students. And this coming sat boss are not around, have to stay and work till close. So i'm gonna be late for class for 2hr, i hate to be late for class but late is still better than skipping it. 

Deep down inside me was hoping so badly that class will be cancel, so that i would not need to be worried of missing out any important note and being late for class yet have to search for seat and while some others might look at u like u were a freak or some kind weirdo. But that not i worry most, because am not suprise if they think i'm weird, i do see myself as a freak. HAHAHA. Should go to sleep early, have to wake up before 8 for the medical speech. And hoping everything going smooth on the coming sat. finger crossed~

night, adious~

 song of my recent soul, 

but i guess he will never knew how i felt for him.

even though we were in the same class for years 

but never talk to each other

悼念张国荣

I've never forget the date of today for every single year since his death. Remember the year when he suicide i was just form 1. He is the only HK artist that make me remember and sing complete lyrics for a cantonese song. I was so obsessed with his song during the days when he just passed away. But after few years i still do, i still sang his song once in a while. Somehow i felt his song meant something so much inside it but i couldn't find out what it is. 
Anyhow, i not feeling well this few day. Not as those common illness such cough, headache, i just felt something wrong with my body, and my breast there felt damn pain. =(
Going for DNA test this sat, hopefully when i get the report, everything would be fine. Since the cancer genetic bought forward from mom to inside me will be active during my 39yr will not the activate so soon.
I bought some book last month, breast cancer, dental problems, total self-confidence. Definitely share out those important info i learn from it. And recently, i just felt tired for work. Wishes to have long break away from my 2yr job, felt depress by communicating with my students, maybe i'm just feeling tired, tired of putting so much effort for each of the student. I hardly tear off, i just felt sad. =( Maybe worrying of getting a serious illness soon. But i try as hard to stay healthy, eat healthy and even started to sleep early as before like 1am. And sometimes i will just go for vegetarian. Forbidden myself taking any chicken from now on, because they said chicken carried cancer gene inside them. 
Ciaoz

风继续吹

YOU

My previous post was more than a month ago, blog seems so deadening. And i had a bad news to deliver, i don't think i will blog more often than last year means it could be worst than a post per month. I bet mostly my blog will ended up a post per year. LOL I lost my motive to blog, things happened. I wanted to make a diary for myself, since blogging in internet is kinda publicity. yeah, i know i can set the view to privacy. Hmm.. maybe i will consider that.
Its been more than 2 year since the break up, and i was struggling during the healing process. It wasn't his fault at all, because i am the one broking his heart. I took a lot of time to think about it and courage and hoping i will not regret by making the decision. But i realized I am soon after i made the decision but before this i think which is best for both of us. long distance relationship are hard to survive. Not that i don't want to hold on, but everyone around us doesn't look well at our relationship. " 所谓竹门对竹门， 木门对木门  " But its alright now, let the past be past. whats is gone are gone. Taking it as a love lesson class, and all i knew he found somebody else that would love him much more than i do, i bet. As long as he was happy, that's all matter. 
Anyhow, i found somebody that meant so much to me now. I can almost chat anything with him, laughing over silly things. But this time i will kept this feeling forever, don't wanna spoiled the friendship between us. Like what if he doesn't have the same feeling as i do, and things turn differently after i tell him. Naw, being friend will do. And i don't get a chance to know him much, he tends to be kept things to himself, i bet. 

Ok, birthday coming soon. First time ever mentioning my birthday on blog. Hmm... i got nothing wanted as my birthday presents. Just hoping everyone i knew were safe and happy. and i hope i will survive this year, since somebody predicted i will be having accidents this year. finger crossed. 

Im in love with all the Travie McCoy songs

i bet u would like it too.

 Goodnight 

Kinect

Hardly believe that my bro and dad both agree to bought a kinect, what a surprise once i came home from work. I never thought that this kinect are so interesting and fun, As usual after work and class, i would be back home at late evening or night around 9/10pm. Who else would go for exercises at night? I did that once before, jog at night but what i get after that was ton of mosquito bites and people saw me gave me a kind of looks. lol 

During off day, i don't prefer to swim alone as it less fun but i did that once in while when i was desperate for swimming. lol This usually applied to jog as well. Low motivation to jog by all myself if theres nothing to aim for, such as marathon event, diet(i don't do diet), etc etc.

Kinect can act as a motivation as there's none companies when you needed so. Usually when you exercises alone probably would last for 1hr or less. Using kinect, u can do exercises likely more than 2hr, as the time goes by without your notice at all. Because all of your attention was pay on the tv as the games was going on. I been playing the kinect for 3hr continuously since Fri till today, now I'm suffering whole body muscle ache. LOL And the muscle has obviously shown on my arm as i been kept playing the boxing, table tennis, bowling, volley ball. As for leg, not much changes, i just play soccer ball less than twice. Most of the games i am playing required hand more than legs. 

Games i play as i mentioned above are the kinect sports(RHS), i rated it 10/10 as it contain party, main, and mini games especially for those people like sports alot. I don't suggest buying the disc shown on the LHS; game party in motion as the game system are difficult to control. You can tried to buy another disc having the similar games and let me know how was it.

Secondly, both games above not bad, the kinect adventures(LHS) got stories contain games, will tried to finish the games by this month if possible and make a review about it. Because theres "something cute" inside the stories mode. And body and brain exercises(RHS), part of the games are similar to FB "who has the biggest brain". More toward to multi-tasking, IQ, calculations, etc. After the game, they will match your current age with the age measure from the score u get. i got match with 33year old. At first was 41yr but i got improved, but still =(

Its 4am, should go to bed now, will review the dancing game on next post.

And lastly, bottom video i recorded when i was playing the bowling, its kinda shaky when you watch due to 1 hand holding handphone and 1 hand need to play the bowling, duh...

Goodnight world.

Dad playing bowling LOL

me? :p