Sadness

I always asked myself whether he is love me or not. But when i thought about de past tht he did like dating with wen yan coz he's going to travel to others country to further his study. Althought wen yan was his ex girlfriend but he is having relationship with me. He nvr asked how do i feel during the time i fall for him so much. If u are having relationship with somebody else, u will nvr asked those ppl who have relationship with u in the past coz it'll hurt u so much. It's juz like a heart have been cut deeply n deeply by a knife. I can sense him that he still have feeling for wen yan.. sometimes it make me wonder.. n whether i should let go something that are not belongs to me. He came back today from penang. Having holidays with his friends.. Before 2 months, he got asked whether i want to spend my holiday with him during August, actually i really wanted to but the cost is quite expensive.. i was jealous coz i oso wishes i was there when he is in penang, to have fun with him. i wishes im on the beach under a blue sky filled with a lot of shinny star during night n lying on the sand with him... haha.. it never will happen.. sigh.. I thought today i was going to see him coz i cant wait to see him, missed him a lot. But after smth happened, something flow on my mind, and wake me up. It's time to let go of the past, the past which filled with sweet memories when i was with him, i can feel tht time he was fall for me. But now it's not. Maybe i have been treated him not well in the past, so this is time for me to pay back with tears n pain..(going to cry)
Everything will changed follow by time n nothing is left over if we do not appreciate.. I have started to realize i should appreciate time n study hard to get smth i want so much.. living in poor makes me realize if we try hard in doing smth n nvr will give up. A good result will come out n it's a benefits to us.. Today i got my Account's result from my trial exam. I did it well becoz i have study for so hard for the preparation.. But dun be happy now coz it's not a SPM result, i still have to study hard to get a better result..